body shaming, health, Indian marriages, life, Marriage life, Patriarchy, social media

Body Shaming – Social Outlook

I was this very thin person for my height as a kid and as a teenager. I was so worried about this back then because people used to ask me if I am were terminally ill or not eating anything. No, I was stronger than most of them. Even after I went to high school and then college people made fun out of me because I didn’t fulfill the beauty standards that is already set by the society. In a due course of time, I gained weight, I felt good and confident. It was due to PCOD that I gained weight. So it didn’t stop. I reached a threshold where people started calling me chubby, fatty and aunty, post marriage.

The issue comes from all these movies that portrayed only the most beautiful women as protagonists who actually have unattainable beauty standards for an average working woman. Gone are days when people compared themselves with movie stars. This is the generation of Instagram, So generally people started comparing themselves with all those influencers and models. A few people actually wear a lot of makeup and add filters from various applications to get than picture perfect selfie. So an average woman starts feeling insecure. The others around her start calling her fatty, gluttonous and everything offensive.

And the worst thing you can do is internet shaming someone based on the person’s looks. You go anonymous and you are allowed to do anything you wanna do. You are big cowards if you are gonna do that.

     Each and everyone is unique in their own ways. You don’t like someone, you keep quiet!! why do you have to post hatred comments on their pictures or something?? why do you have to publicly insult and body shame the person?? What do you get out of it?? peace??? or a strange kind of satisfaction that you have made someone feel bad???  it affects the overall outlook a person has over himself or herself. It can take a very bad toll over someone’s self confidence. 

And there are other set of people who come up with various ideas, like trying some diet, joining a particular gym and someone even told me that wearing a saree would reduce my tummy. And post marriage, your in laws start commenting on the way you look. Oh come on!! your son isn’t Brad Pitt as well!!! Even if he goes bald and gets a pot belly, no one really cares. Beauty is largely associated with women and women only.

As far as someone is happy with themselves and physically fit to an extend it doesn’t matter if you are fat or fit. No one needs to hear offensive comments about the way someone looks.

 

And the least you can do is to support them when they are trying to lose weight. Not by discouraging their journey. Each body responds differently to different methods of weight loss. So please stop putting someone off and no one is ready for free advice. 

 

Written by,

Divya Shankar
Continue reading “Body Shaming – Social Outlook”

health, life

Eating for your feelings..

“I am so stressed, I am gonna eat that cake”, “I have a lot of work to do, I am gonna grab that chips packet, let me treat myself”, ” I did a lot of work today and let me reward myself”.

Do you find yourself in such situations?? Do you find yourself saying the above often?? You are not alone, I am here for you.

I love food. I earn for food. My Instagram feed is full of food. There is nothing wrong about it. But then what am I doing to my body?? I, sometimes​ hog just because I am stressed or bored, not because I am hungry or my body needs food.

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Think twice !!

Once in a while binge eating is just fine. But then think before you even think of food. At times, when you​ feel hungry, drink some water. Chances are that you are just thirsty and you just mistook it for hunger.

Be Aware!!

Stuffing your mouth with a packet of chips occasionally is not a sin. But then be aware of what is going inside your body, so that you make it up with something else, like an extra 15 minutes of cardio or reducing your quantity of your next meal.

Switch to a healthier option!

When you feel like eating something, you can choose an apple over a packet of chips or maybe munch on some raw carrots in the place of French fries oozing out of cheese, you may try the home made laddoo instead of cookies. If you are a foodie just like me and wanna try on something exotic please check out the links at the end of the post.

Ghar ka khana be the best!

Try your best to eat what you prepare with your own hands at ‘home’. This way you won’t consume it often because you are lazy to make them in the first place and you actually know what goes inside your body. You know the ingredients you add such as maida, salt, oil, sugar etc.

Healthy on the label – myth!

Someone quoted once that if you find a healthy tag on any of the processed food packages, avoid it as much as you can. It is going to harm you more than the obvious unhealthy options. Read the ingredients list below and then decide. These packed food and juices are not going to help you in any way. Make them if you can or eat fruits and veggies to fill your belly.

Talk to yourself!

Yeah!  Talk to yourself if you are really hungry or you are just stressed or bored. If your answer is no avoid it and divert yourself. You may take a stroll around the neighborhood or sit down to read or call a friend or atleast watch an episode of your favourite series.

When you want to reward yourself for something good you have done, keep that in moderation. Reduce your portions.

Just knowing when to eat what helps. This is to keep you healthy so that you get all the energy to hustle harder, so that you function more efficiently, so that you feel good about yourself. Just a reminder you are beautiful no matter what. 

Thank you for reading, until next time, happy blogging! Cheers!!

PS : Go through this link guys. The page is very impressive.

http://lifekirecipe.com

 

Written by : Divya Shankar

 

 

health, life

Am I sad or depressed????

” People think depression is sadness, crying or dressing in Black. But people are wrong. 

Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. You wake up in the morning just to go to bed again.”

I have lived with depression since I was 12 years old and since then I have been suicidal on more than one occasion. I have experienced the sheer terror of contemplating a life filled with unrelenting anguish, and I have been consumed by the terrifying thought of having but a single means of escape from a bleak, unbearable future. It all started when everyone at home and those good for nothing relatives started putting me down for my not so good grades. ( Yeah!! I always scored 80% and it was consistent all my life). I really hated it when my relatives manipulated my parents. As a result, I was usually alone and never had any close friend or anyone, was not so emotionally attached to people. Whenever I brought someone home, there was a comparison on the marks. So I stopped bringing people to my house.

In order to escape all these, all I did was blatantly lie about my marks and just get away with it. I was happy with the instant happy atmosphere at home rather worrying about the consequences later. No one had an idea about all these in my life, since I smiled when everything inside me was shattering into pieces.

This is not a revelation or a confession. It is not that I take my pains to hide, I am definitely not ashamed of it or particularly troubled by it. It was all the game and a part of my life. One minute everything seems to be perfectly fine and the next it is like someone turned the light off my head ( could not find a better analogy). I go so quiet and had a trouble falling asleep. 

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The world around me loses all the focus and I struggle to make sense out of it. Today, I learnt to live with depression, where my only fear is that I don’t want anyone to see me the way I saw myself a few years ago. There is hell, and trust me I have seen it.

“Depression is melancholy minus its charms”

                                                                    Susan Sontag

It all happened in the beginning of my college, and I didn’t even know about it. After a series of very stressful events, I lost all my weight and my hair. And then, I stood lost. One day, I gathered all my broken pieces, put them together, may or may not be perfect and got up! I am really glad i survived. But all these did take a very bad toll in my health. But still, I  was kind of feeling better the next two years.

And after two years it happened again. BAD TIMES again. Finally Here I am in 2018, stronger than ever and better than never. I do feel depressed at times. But then, all I do is to take a run, eat good food, explore new places or go to sleep.

What am I today?? I am doing better in life than all those people I was compared with. I am definitely a better human which I would say with pride.

So here it is,

What is depression???

It is termed as a common but serious mood disorder. It affects how you feel, how you think and handle daily activities such as sleeping, eating or working. It can be defined as persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life.

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watch out these signs for depression

It is now become how I try to approach the dips in my week or month, the idea is this:

To be sick, or to suffer is inevitable. But to become bitter and vindictive in sickness and suffering and to surrender and to irrationality, supposing yourself the innocent and virtuous victim of the evil intentions of the world is not inevitable. 

We all do not talk about depression because there is nothing romantic or glamorous about feeling like you are losing your mind; no attractive selfies are waiting to be taken when you have curled up on bed, crying with excruciating emotional pain within you. And we do not like talking about suicides because as animals, the very thought of taking our own life goes against every natural instinct we possess. 

So, when you feel you are depressed, Do not hesitate to ask for help. And when you find someone depressed, offer every possible help. Make the world better. 

 

Written by Divya Shankar

References: American essayist , Richard mitchell

Image source: https://www.yourtango.com/2017299046/22-quotes-about-what-depression-feels

health

My PCOD story- my best friend

“I am so classy that even my ovaries have pearls in them”

                                                                   -sincerely the girls who are suffering from PCOD

What is PCOD??

Patients suffering from poly cystic ovarian disease (PCOD) have multiple small cysts in their ovaries (the word poly means many). These cysts occur when the regular changes of a normal menstrual cycle are disrupted. The ovary is enlarged; and produces excessive amounts of androgen and estrogen hormones. This excess, along with the absence of ovulation, may cause infertility. Other names for PCOD are Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) or the Stein-Leventhal syndrome.

How did it all start??

No one actually knows what causes PCOD. But in my case, I would say the change in my lifestyle. I happily ignored the problem for three years like the other girls in my class. Later, I found out that the main cause was my hostel life for three years which led to an unhealthy lifestyle which included bad food habits, lack of any kind of physical activity, irregular sleeping patterns, stress etc. These were some of the known factors and it need not be affecting everyone who go through this. Whenever I maintain a better lifestyle during my break, the condition gets better, but the moment I get back to my old ways, I get affected. The moment I found that my conditions are escalating, I approached a gynecologist.

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My bad food habits… yeah look at that grin on my face..!!!

How do you know you are affected by the condition??

The symptoms varies from person to person. I had the following symptoms:

  • I was a person who was known for my fiery metabolism, where no matter what I eat, I never gained weight. After I started gaining weight, I actually felt happy. Later, I was diagnosed for PCOD. The weight gain is one of the prominent symptoms.
  • The Weight gain was very evidently seen in my lower part of my body, i.e. my tummy. It was oh so disproportionate.
  • Facial hair increased as well.
  • The pimples on your cheeks are a sure shot sign to watch out for. I got pimples on my right cheek on my face, so that means I have cysts on my right side ovary. ( I never had pimples in my teenage years)
  • The next strange symptom was my blood sugar levels and I had high insulin content in my body. I had to include more sugar to keep me going. High insulin level also causes pot belly.
  • If your hair-fall pattern is very evident, do consult a doctor. The androgen secreted in a female body goes higher when there is PCOD, which results in hair-fall.
  • Irregular sleeping patterns- You may be sleeping too much or too little.
  • Severe cramps in your abdomen during your periods.

How did I get over??

I had a great skin back then, once I screwed up my body, I lost all of it; the skin, the hair and my confidence altogether. So after taking the pills suggested by the gynecologist, I feared that it would cause side effects. I did a lot of research and put forth a lot of questions to my granny about what she used to do in her teenage which apparently gave answers to all my questions. Yeah here it goes, How did I actually cure it???

  • Do not take stress– when you are stressed out please meditate and try to keep a cool-head. Please develop a hobby, may it be reading or painting or anything you love.
  • Spend sometime for yourself– Self care is important, and take short trips where there is less pollution.

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  • Exercise– At least run for thirty minutes a day. You may try other forms of fitness like zumba, aerobics, etc. As the amount of work we do these days is not enough for our body to sustain.

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Run for at least 30 minutes… yeah it has a lot of benefits

  • Diet– Okay! this is a very common thing suggested for almost all the issues. Stick to your local diet especially what your mom cooks than all the processed foods. Your body would thank you later. Include fruits, vegetables, proteins, calcium, iron and sunlight. As always, take more water and stay hydrated.

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Make a schedule and stick to it

  • Reward yourself for every little thing you follow. This would definitely keep you motivated.

Did I actually get cured???

The answer is HELL YEAH!!!!! I improved. My body looked toned. Hair condition got better without the use of many products. My skin texture also improved and my scars faded away ( It is been two years, since I stopped using makeup), Yeah It felt good. Consistency is the key and it would take minimum of 3 months to make little difference. It means it is actually a healthier lifestyle altogether than a goal that is to be achieved.

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Reward yourself…. yeah princess!! wear that crown!!

So keep going girls!!!!

These are some of the things I followed,  I would include more on my next post. Till then keep sparkling my beautiful people.

 

Written by Divya Shankar