I know it’s been a very long time since I wrote something here. And it’s February already and I am writing about 2018. Since I was not feeling great about the stuff around me, I couldn’t really find the motivation to blog. Let me just pen down everything that happened to share it here.
2018 was an amazingly beautiful year yet a challenging one, where I had to step out of my comfort zone and start growing as an individual. I was a free spirited soul with a small friend circle exploring beaches and cafes. A year of rollercoaster, emotional turmoil and of course growth. I realised I am a big girl and I got married. YES!! I got married. After a lot of dates and failed attempts to have a relationship, finally I said yes! I found my Mr. Right. It is obviously a big step in one’s life. For a woman, it’s totally the next phase of life which would turn her world upside down! It could be on a good note or a bad note, but it is indeed scary. It’s been a crazy and contradicting mix of feelings. It would be better if I sum it up like feeling lonely, meeting new people, new ways of expressing your emotions so that no one is hurt.
The phase which demanded stepping up and stepping into the uncomfortable chaos.
What are the changes that actually happened???
– Knowing your value
– Growth and Change
KNOWNG YOUR VALUE :
What’s your value?? You as a human being is provided with certain amount of skillsets in order to make yourself resourceful to sustain a society. But the moment you get married, everything changes overnight and you are expected to work like a maid to an altogether a new family just because you are married to the guy. You gain nothing out of it other than feeling bad about yourself and you were not born to do only that. Of course I respect it when it is someone’s choice. You gotta understand that you are capable of something much more than that. You owe yourself respect and acceptance. Learn to stand up for yourself and start growing as a person for something better.
GROWTH and CHANGE:
One thing we are never ever ready for. It is scary yet we long for it. It needs courage. It’s an uncomfortable space between comfort and ambition. I didn’t really see my career or anything else as growth until I got married. I felt accomplished. After a few bad dates and a few heartbreaks I found out what I really wanted out of a guy. So I settled for this one. It had it’s own negatives, yet I am happy.
What was the drastic change??? I moved to a new city. Life was a mess overnight. I hardly knew anyone here. I have always led a comfortable life in my house and had a maid. Here, I should do everything on my own. It is a tier 2 city and it didn’t have a beach. Yes I hated that fact. And of course I got used to it. I used to dread the word cooking but I learnt it in a week or two. “Survival instincts baby”.
CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT ABD IT IS INEVITABLE.
New surroundings and getting accustomed to it was the most challenging part altogether. But I had no choice but to accept it and make myself better and more importantly happy.
According to Indian weddings, a marriage is more like a family affair more than just two individuals. Yeah it is not a great thing as it is never gonna let you grow. By relationships I mean to say it’s with others and not my husband. I was a straightforward and oytspokeo individual. But here I had to keep quiet for everything one said in order to save my marriage. You gotta learn how to deal with things in a diplomatic way. You will lose all the importance that you once had. You will just be called Mr. X ‘ wife and you will be expected to serve everyone. No one would really care about what you like or hate. You should ADJUST with everything you once loved and adored. You will not have any freedom to wear the dress you love or wear the hair the way you love it.
I understood that why people dread a marriage especially women. But I gotta accept and move on with my life
And the turning point of my life was when I met with an accident in December. So the year didn’t end on a good note. It was a hard blow on my already chaotic life. I had a surgery on my foot. I dreaded injections and doctors. I have visited the operation theater’s during a case study for a project. Not even in my wildest dreams I ever thought I would be facing it. I had to rest for five weeks with a big bandage on my leg. I was so independent which got impossible. I had to expect people to do my favors. I realised how I took my life for granted. My Mr. Right was so supportive and finally I am healing now. Better than ever.
Neither man nor woman is perfect or complete without the other. Thus, no marriage or family, no ward or stake is likely to reach its full potential until husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, men and women work together in unity of purpose, respecting and relying upon each other’s strengths.